Forgotten Memories
by anastasia 1234
Summary: Hawkeye wakes in an alley with only three words for memory. Shield. Coulsen. And his bow. He soon realizes that he's being followed and slowly has to pick up the pieces of the puzzle to remember who he is. When he retraces his steps, he finds his body is not the same as it used to be. Something had happened to him and he was going to find out. all avengers included. ON HOLD
1. Chapter 1

It was a crisp and cool fall day. The sun was hidden behind grey clouds, and the lonely neighborhood was silent except for a soft patter of footsteps that could barely be heard.

The footsteps came from a man with spiky blonde hair, a leather jacket and combat boots. His eyes were a mixture of grey and bright blue that scanned the area he tread.

_Hawkeye. Yea, that's my name. Hawkeye. Or is it? _the man thought to himself.

It had only been three hours since he'd woken in a dark alley not remembering anything. Hawkeye found himself hiding his panic, and keeping a straight face, though he had a feeling, most people would be panicking at the moment, not remembering who you are, where you are, and what your suppose to be doing. Though he also had a feeling he wasn't normal.

He hadn't lost his common sense, only his main memory. He knew it wasn't normal for people to wake up in an alley with no memory besides a name. he quickly picked up on the signs that he wasn't normal. He had knives hidden in his attire, his vision seemed increased than what human abilities should, and his name was Hawkeye. Who had a name like Hawkeye?

Racking his brain for forgotten memories, Hawkeye came out blank. His mind was an absolute wall of nothing. He could only register three other words, though the meaning of the words made no sense.

_Coulsen. Shield. Bow and arrow. _

What could that mean?

Though his memories were gone, his emotions and reactions on instinct were still with him, and he was feeling that panic slowly creep it's way into his mind.

_Where am I? who am I? what happened? I can't just suddenly _appear _somewhere. I had a life. Didn't I?_

These questions surged his mind constantly, and instinct told him that first thing was first, find out where he was. So that's what he set out to do.

The cool wind blew against his face as he walked down the paved sidewalk, looking for any sign, billboard, or person that he could ask what town he was in.

A feeling of dread was trying hard to overwhelm him, and he found himself longing for the name Coulsen. Whoever Coulsen was, must have been close, and the harder he tried to think, the more his head hurt and he could feel the blood rushing to his ears.

_Uh oh, not again._

The pain increased when images and movies started flashing through his mind. Hawkeye grunted, bringing his hands up to his temples and doubled over in pain. Trying hard to make the pain stop as the pictures flashed…

"_Barney, Clint! Supper is ready? Would you boys stop wrestling in the dirt, and set the table? For goodness sake wash your hands while your at it." a women with wavy blond hair who was wearing a small white apron shouted out a window in what seemed to be a small cozy kitchen._

_Not long after, two boys rushed in through the patio door and pushed each other out of the way while standing on their toes to reach the running water and soap. One boy had blonde hair and big blue eyes. The other had darker skin, brown hair, and hazel eyes, and they looked at their mom playfully. _

_The blonde couldn't have been more than three, and the other one, who looked older, must have been five._

"_Is dad going to be home soon?" the dark haired kid asked drying his hands off with a towel before his brother snatched it away._

_The women gave them a sweet smile and nodded, "yes, so why don't you be good little boys and get the supper table all pretty and ready for daddy, okay?" she said sweetly._

_Both boys muttered their 'okay's' before heading to the kitchen. The younger one couldn't help much, but he tried as best he could, mostly getting in the way._

_When the front door opened, the three in the kitchen turned to see a man walk in, or more stumble in, through the door. _

"_Daddy!" the boys called from their seats at the table. The women turned and smiled at the man, but the smile quickly faded into a worried look when she saw him almost fall._

_She put her rag down, muttered a 'stay put' to her boys before jogging over to where the dad was leaning heavily against the wall like it was a life support. He was muttering and cursing under his breath._

"_honey, what's wrong? What happened?" the wife said worriedly. As she got next to him and helped with the support, the man swooned to the side, and she got a good whiff of what smelt a lot like alcohol. _

"_I.. was.. Work." he slurred, still trying to steady himself even with his wife's help. "can't ..believe…got… layed..off." he said heaving a huge sigh as a convulsion went through his body, causing him to grunt in pain and almost collapse to the ground._

_The women's face went from worried, to shock and despair. "you got layed off? But your job is our only income! What're we going to do! We're barely getting by as it is." she started rambling on._

"_**Shut up Claire**__!" the man yelled, causing the kids to jump and the women to wince. It was the first time their dad had ever raise his voice so much, especially directed at one of them._

_The women sighed as she watched her husband flop on the couch._

_He was drunk. Beyond drunk. She had never seen her husband like this before._

"_Get me another beer." he muttered with another groan of pain as he rolled on his side._

_The women frowned worriedly, "honey, I really don't think.."_

_He shot up, his face red and angry, "I said, _**get me another beer**!" _he screamed again and the women stepped back in fear._

_The children stared wide-eyed as they watched there father pass out before he could continue yelling. There mom stayed glued to her spot with wide eyes like a deer in the headlights._

"_Mom? What's wrong with daddy?" the blonde boy said, his large orbs wide and scared. He'd never seen a scene like this before._

_After another few moments of silence, she finally turned to face her sons, she had tears fighting at her eyes. "n...nothing sweetie. Mommy's just going to… you kids eat.. I'm going to go take a nap in my bedroom okay?" she said wiping away a tear that had started to fall. "and, don't bother you daddy. He's had a hard day at work." she informed before running off and locking herself in her room with a _click.

Hawkeye breathed heavily as the images and voices faded from his aching head. His head was still pounding but he forced himself to straighten up, and continue walking.

What had just happened? Was that apart of _his _life? The life he apparently had? He shook his head and closed his eyes shut. Thinking just made his head hurt worse.

It was like having one piece to an one-thousand piece puzzle.

Hawkeye finally shook the feeling, gathered the only thoughts he had, and kept moving. He figured that at least would get him somewhere. Though two feelings were bugging him.

One of them was he had a gut feeling he wasn't the same as he'd been before. He felt different in a way, like the way his muscles didn't seem to relax with his body. His movements were fluid but unusual feeling. It was weird, as he couldn't even describe it to himself.

The other feeling had been knawing at him a half hour since he'd woken up. He could feel it. He knew it was true.

He could feel eyes on him. He was being watched.


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha:

Natasha flung the door open and walked out of the debrief room. She had been sent on an eight month mission and just finished the two hour debrief. With a heavy sigh she piled into her car to head back to avengers tower. She was _so_ looking forward to coming home, but Clint was going to be there, and she wasn't sure if he had yet forgiven her.

The two assassins had a fight before each were sent off on _long _solo missions. Hers had been about some drug dealer in Australia, and his had been about some Scientist Convention Project.

Her whole time in Australia, Clint had been on her mind, no matter how hard she tried to push him away. Not only had their fight repeated itself in her head numerous amount of times, but she was also worried about his safety. His mission had been at least three difficulty points higher than hers (which is a lot since its out of seven.)

She had messed up. Big time. But she had refused to admit it, and Clint had told her he'd had enough. Natasha _hated _when Clint got mad at her. If his patience had been worn thin, then she had really screwed up, because he had the patience of a god. Well, more like a sniper.

As Natasha climbed out of her car, and pressed the button on the elevator, she could feel her heart pounding her chest. She hadn't seen him in eight _months._ His mission had started a week before hers, but ended a month before, so that meant he would be home with the rest of the team.

Her heart lurched at the thought of him still being mad at her, but pushed the thought aside as the elevator doors opened. Immediately, her eyes searched the living quarters for his, hoping to see her favorite color of blue-grey, light up at the sight of her.

What she found was Steve leaning forward, with his elbows on his knees and head in hands, staring intently at a movie that was playing on the screen. Though he had a distant look in his eye that told her he was thinking of something else.

Tony and Pepper were arguing about something in hushed voices over by the kitchen area. It seemed Tony was worked up about something, using hand movements as he talked.

Bruce was sitting in a lounge chair off to the side of the TV with a laptop in his lap, as his fingers danced nervously across the keyboard. She frowned as Clint was nowhere in sight, and no one had even heard her come in.

Finally, as she stood, still analyzing everything, Steve noticed her out of the corner of his eye and abruptly stood. "Natasha. Your back." he said turning to see her.

At the mention of her name, everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to face her also. An uneasy feeling settled over her as all eyes settled on her, but she remained unmoved, trying to cover up that she was uncomfortable.

"I am." she said flatly, meeting everyone's eyes with her green ones.

Silence filled the room, as everyone remained in their spots.

Finally she broke it, "where's Clint?" she asked the question that had been dancing on her tongue since she walked in the door.

Everyone flinched at the name, and hurt looks came over their faces, causing her to frown.

A look of shock and discomfort came over Tony's face, and he spoke up, taking a few steps closer to her, "F…Fury didn't tell you?" he asked.

Panic started to rise in her but she pushed it back down. It was probably nothing. They were just going to tell her that he was sent on another long mission and won't be back for awhile. Right?

She shook her head, and saw Bruce stand up next to Steve. They all shared nervous glances at each other making her angry. "what?" she said sharply.

That's when she noticed the droopy look in Steve's normally bright eyes, the sags of sleepless nights under Tony's, Bruce's constant fidgeting, and Pepper's red eyes, showing she'd been crying.

Natasha's heart rate picked up.

"What? What happened?"

Silence.

"Tell me!" she practically screamed. She meant to keep a stoic face, but this was getting ridiculous. Her voice broke in fear of what they were going to say.

Finally, Steve cleared his throat. "Natasha. I'm sorry… but." he stopped and drooped his head down muttering something that no one understood.

"What?" she said, her voice wavering, trying not to break at all the possibilities of what might have happened.

Tony took another step forward and put a hand on her shoulder. Had she not been in this situation, she would have swatted it away.

With a heavy breath, Tony looked at her with hollowness, "Clint, didn't come back from his mission."

Her hands started to shake nervously as his words echoed in his head. "what do you mean?" she said, keeping her voice low just in case it cracked, her jaw clenched tight.

Swallowing harshly, the billionaire spoke again, "Fury lost contact with him during his mission. They sent an extraction team to look for him and there was no trace of him or anyone. Not even the science team he'd been after. Even we…" he said gesturing to everyone in that room (Thor was gone on Asgard) "went out and searched. There is nothing there, we tried. We've been doing one last effort, sending out radar to detect sign of him. If Jarvis picks up on anything, he notifies us immediately. but this is our second week and... "

He paused to take in her reaction, which so far, he noticed the shaking that had been in her hands, had taken over her whole body. Seeing as she was still silent, he continued.

"We haven't heard anything about him, no evidence, sightings, contact or anything for four months. Fury declared him M.I.A, but has yet to let any agent convince him to change it to K.I.A. We're sorry Natasha."

Her mind went blank. _No...no. no. no. no. no. no._

_Wait. Am I speaking out loud?_

"Natasha, can I get you anything?"

Natasha even barely registered that it was Steve who had spoken.

She quickly shook her head, pushed Stark's arm off her shoulder and ran to her bedroom.

_No. Not Clint. Not _her _hawk. Her best friend. Her partner. _

_If it had been her who died, Clint would have been fine. He would've been devastated of course, but he would have been able to move on. But not her. She needed him. _

All these thoughts ran through her mind as she sat on her bed, back against the wall, with her knees tucked in place by her arms.

She half expected Clint to walk in and comfort her any second. That he would give her that smirk of his, that he would say something soothing, then something to make her smile.

She would never be able to see that smirk again, never see his muscular arms, the ones that had comforted her and wrapped around her protectively. No one would ever crawl in the vents again, no one would watch her back with trusty arrows that never missed. No one would have such brilliant eyes. No one.

Her shaking had increased to the point where she couldn't get it to stop. Her heart wanted to cry, but her fist's wanted to punch everyone and everything.

Then, a thought struck her that caused her heart to ache.

The last thing they had done was fight.

Then the tears slowly leaked against her will.


	3. Chapter 3

His senses were screaming at him to run, and his muscles tensed with every step, but he knew if he just abruptly started to run or stop, his tracker would know he was aware of them. So he remained walking, though he was listening intently for any sound.

Almost immediately, his ears picked up the sound of quiet rustling and breathing. It was coming from a tree all the way across the other side of the park. _How am I able to hear that? Only a cat or owl should be able to detect a sound that far away. _Hawkeye thought to himself, but pulled his focus back to together, and nonchalantly looked across the park.

He was trying to make it seem like he was enjoying the view of fall, but in reality, his eyes were looking at the tree where his pursuer hid.

His eyes focused and zoomed in on the tree, like his own personal pair of binoculars. He was surprised by that too. Only a hawk had that kind of vision. _Duh, that's probably why I got the name __**Hawkeye, **_he thought, but he knew that wasn't human like either. Had he been able to do that before?

In the tree, he made out a figure of a man, perched low on a hidden branch. He had something in his hands and was holding it to his face. Hawkeye recognized it as binoculars.

Scanning the park, he thought of patterns and plans to get to the tree, and catch the man by surprise, but quickly decided against each one because he knew better. If he were to catch him, he would need a weapon. Though he could easily kill the man with his bare hands, bur he would need to interrogate the man, and he'd be a lot more threatening with a weapon.

So he trekked on. Letting himself ease into steady strides. If his pursuer wanted him dead, they would have already tried killing him, so he'd be safe for now. Besides, maybe whoever these people were (because he knew the man in the tree wasn't the only one) knew who he was.

He finally came to a busier part of town, with people walking around, cars zooming by, and voices filling the air. Trying to blend in the crowd, he slipped into a coffee shop that had a homey atmosphere.

"Excuse me." His voice was still dry from whatever he'd been doing before he lost his memory. He called to the young woman who was filling a cup with coffee, getting her attention as she turned to him with a friendly smile.

"Hello there! What can I do for you?" she said cheerily.

"I was wondering what town I'm in. I am driving with my family, and my wife made me stop for directions." he lied easily, even adding a sheepish look to his usually stoic face to make it more believable.

The woman smiled again, "Your in Paynesville, Minnesota."

"Hey now, I knew I was in Minnesota. I'm not _that_ lost." he said smiling warmly at her.

She laughed kindly. "oh good. Just making sure. I know how husbands can be about directions."

Hawkeye said his thanks, and walked back out the door, dropping his act as soon as his face had turned away.

_Paynesville. Minnesota. Great. I know _where _I am, but I still don't know where I came from or where I need to go._

With a heavy sigh, Hawkeye set out to find a map, a place to spend the night, and a weapon.

Tomorrow, he would return to the alley and look for traces of anything as to what might have happened to him. He needed to start somewhere, and he decided that it would be best to start with where his memory began. As far as he could remember anyway.

He spent the rest of the evening wandering, took a moment to steal a knife from a restaurant without anyone noticing (_piece of cake), _and continued to rake his mind for any scrap of memory that came. None whatsoever filled his mind.

The whole time, he felt eyes on him, and his instinct told him to wait patiently, but his anger of not knowing what's going on wanted to give someone a piece of his mind. _You need every piece of your mind you can get, _he reminded himself, and continued pushing down his rage.

Hawkeye passed another little park, and spotted a large tree. He, on instinct, walked up to it and started climbing. He perched himself on a thick branch that was halfway up the tree, and hidden under it's leaves. He positioned himself so his back and head leaned against the main trunk, and his legs were out in front of him, and his arms were crossed over his gut.

The center of his back tingled, as did his shoulder. It almost felt like something was missing (aside from the obvious of course). Almost like there was usually something on him at all times. But then again, he hadn't stopped getting weird feelings ever since he'd woken, so he pushed the feeling away, and laid his head back to sleep. He was surprised when it came so easily.

But not without a nightmare of course.


	4. Chapter 4

**~Okay, so this chapter is a lot longer than my previous chapters, and i hope it's not too wordy. Hope ya like it!  
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**Disclaimer: Don't own avengers  
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**P.s i have insomnia so if you think my writing sucks, just thought i should let you know i'm usually writing these at about 12:00-3:00 AM so that might be why xP  
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**one more thing: the last chapter left you hanging with clint about to have a nightmare, that's still coming up  
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**Review if you want too, i don't really care, i just like to write when i'm bored x)  
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**The Team's POV: **

Three days have passed since the news of Clint's death, and Natasha has locked herself in her room mostly. She finally stopped crying, telling herself that Clint wouldn't want her wasting herself away, but she couldn't get herself to go back to work yet. She spent days lounging around, and nights training in the room till her knuckles bled and blistered.

Pepper tried to comfort her, and Steve too. Bruce also, but rather awkwardly. Tony hadn't come to see her. Pepper said it was because he had locked himself in the lab, perfecting his suit with every inch. He never admitted it but Clint was his favorite friend of the team, right up there with Bruce. He was grieving just as badly as she was.

Natasha would come out of her room, still in sweats, grab something to eat, and rarely eat with the team. If she did, she would poke at her food with her fork, and sit in silence amongst the small chatter. Tony was still no where to be seen. She couldn't help but envy Thor, and yet pity him. He was in ignorant bliss in Asgard, yet he still didn't know about the loss of his friend.

It was afternoon by the time she got up, and headed to the kitchen. Pepper sat on the chair, tapping away on a laptop. Her eyes were still puffy from crying, she couldn't stand seeing Tony and Natasha in such a funk, along with the fact that she lost a friend, it was her first time feeling grief.

Bruce sat at the table, also with a laptop. Bruce was even _more _quiet than usual. He had bonded with Clint when talking about losing control of ones self. Especially after the whole 'Loki thing'. He also admired how little fear the archer had shown to the hulk. Who was going to get the hulk to let Bruce take control after a battle now? Stark couldn't cause he only made the 'other guy' _more_ angry. Natasha had a fear of the hulk since the helicarrier incident, and Steve was _too _polite, so the hulk found him annoying, and Thor was so large, the Hulk took it as a threat. So the doctor just continued experiments, doing _anything _to clear his head.

Steve stood, leaning against the kitchen counter with a cup of hot tea between his hands. Guiltiness weighed him down. _He _was the team captain! How could they trust him if he couldn't even _be _there for his teammates? Clint had saved everyone's lives many times. He always seemed to be the one who would sacrifice himself, always put himself last, and the team first. And now, the archer was just suddenly, gone.

Tony was still no where in sight as Natasha's dull filled eyes scanned the kitchen and living area.

Back in the lab, Stark's mind felt numb. He's lost a friend before in Afghanistan, and he never wanted that to happen again. And now here he was, the only member of the team that would play x-box with him, the only one that would be able to stop Natasha from hurting him, the only one who would come pick him up from a bar when he got too drunk. The only one. And now he felt helpless.

Tony has been locked in his lab, connecting to satellites, reprogramming scanners, trying to find _any _read on his friend, but after so long, he was starting to give up hope. Never sleeping a wink, and still pushing on through the long nights. With only the whir of machines, and the faint light of his arc reactor to keep him company.

Now it was the third day Natasha had known since he'd told her, and he hadn't seen her since. Only heard her up at night, sometimes screaming in rage, sometimes a loud crash from the training room.

But today, a glint of hope sparked inside of him, and he rushed into the kitchen.

Everyone looked up to see the billionaire, purple bags and worry lines etched his features, and as he stood, his legs seemed to tire just holding himself up. But they saw a spark in his eye, which was different from the usual distant looked he'd permanently placed since the news four months previous.

"You guys! I might have found something!" he practically yelled.

All heads turned to him.

Steve abruptly stood, a questioning hope in his voice, "really?"

Bruce snapped his PC shut and got up also, "where?" he said tossing his laptop on one of the sofa's

"And how?" pepper came over to her boyfriends side, looking questioningly at the files in his hand.

Natasha, seeing the usual tension in the room break, became slightly curious, but stayed at her spot on the table, fiddling with the scrambled eggs on her plate with her fork. "what're you guys talking about?" she said dryly, her voice sounding drained.

They all turned to see her weary look and glance nervously at each other, much like three days previous before the bad news.

It was Tony who broke the silence, "Natasha, remember how I told you we've been searching for any signs of Clint?"

At this, Natasha abruptly straightened, trying to stop a small amount of hope from leaking into her heart, afraid it might break again.

With a tired sigh, Stark continued, "well, I finally latched onto a satellite, and zoomed in on the United States, still having the computer scan for any DNA similarities of our archer, and it seemed to have found a lot around the Midwest area, so I zoomed in closer. I continued the process of elimination, until I found a strong reactor pulse coming from Minnesota. Zooming in once more, I found it in a tiny town called Paynesville with population less than twenty-five-hundred. So, moving to my other screen, I hacked into cameras from stores, security cameras, and all of the above. And…" he said finally taking a breath, "Look what I found."

Opening up the file in his hand, he took out a map, another paper which had name of location, and a whole bunch of other small printed detail. Along with it, he held up a device that looked like a tiny metal square, with a hole in the middle. Grabbing the adjacent corners, he pulled them apart, revealing a holographic screen.

By this point Natasha's heart had started pounding. Was it safe to hope Clint's alive? She stood behind Tony with the rest of the team (and pepper) and watched as a high-definition holographic clip came up.

"Watch." Tony said, 'clicking' the play button.

The screen came to life, showing what looked like a coffee shop. It seemed to be from an angle of a camera that was hidden in the corner. In the coffee shop was the small little round tables, with menus neatly set, a counter with smoothies, blenders, frappe machines, and coffee making appliances that a young woman was moving around, making whatever a customer would have ordered.

She wore a blush colored polo shirt, and black pants, with an apron tied in a small bow behind her. She had long straight blonde hair that was pulled back in a pony, as she smiled at customers that came in, and took their orders. The place was rather empty, only a few people loitered at the tables, taking sips of hot coffee.

"Tony, this is just a video of a coffee shop, I don't see how…" Steve began before Tony abruptly shushed him.

"Just watch." Tony said rather annoyed, but too jumpy with lack of sleep, and too much caffeine, alcohol, and adrenaline from his discovery to care.

Just then, a man walked in. He wore a leather jacket over a white shirt, and black pants with combat boots. His hair was spiky blonde, but they couldn't see his face, for his back was to the camera.

Natasha sucked in a small gasp as her head began swarming with thoughts and her heart paced even faster (if possible). Pepper hand a hand over her mouth in shock, and the whole team was staring intently at the screen. You could have heard a pin drop as the tension in the atmosphere rose.

The screen didn't have any audible sounds, but they could see the woman laughing and smiling as she talked to the man. Until finally, he turned to head out the door, and the team's eyes widened.

There on the screen was a face they'd seen many times before. The face they've missed for what's felt like ages. They saw as he turned around, that his smile instantly dropped into the same usual stoic expression their friend always wore.

Questions ran through the heads of the heroes, but the biggest one of all was: _could that _**really **_be him?_

Same stormy grey, yet icy blue eyes, same muscular arms, same leather jacket, and same boots.

It was him. There was their friend, alive and walking, until he pushed open the door, and disappeared out of the camera's view, and the screen shrunk back down to it's centimeter long square.

Silence echoed through the tower's walls.

"So…" Bruce said awkwardly, "how do we know if it's him?" all eyes turned to the red head.

There was a few beats of silence again until finally, Natasha spoke, trying to keep her voice level. "turn it on again."

Tony followed her orders as the video started playing again. When it came to the part when he was reaching his hand out to push the door open, Natasha ordered softly, "stop here."

The video immediately froze to her command, and she stepped up to the hologram in from of the Stark, "zoom in here." she said tapping on his right hand.

After it zoomed in, Natasha stood still as stone for a few moments, before turning to face the team. "It's him." she said, trying to fight emotions of hope, anger, and happiness.

Hope because he might still be alive, anger because after all of this, he's fine and she wants to know what happened and how. And happiness because Clint Barton, her partner, was breathing and _alive_. She made a silent vow to herself that she _would _get him back here no matter what, even if it _did _look as though he was fine, though her gut instinct told her something was off.

Steve said with a look of doubt, mixed with confusion on his face, "how can you tell?"

"See right here," she said, once again gesturing to the screen, "on his right hand, there is a mark from when he was sent to kill me. I threw a knife at him and he deflected it with his hand, but not without getting a good cut. He's had a scar ever since."

The room went silent once more, thinking over everything that they had just heard, and saw.

"so now comes the real question." Steve said, deciding to voice what everyone is probably thinking, "What happened to him? SHIELD said he was missing, and that they lost track of him with no signs of anything. He _has _been missing for four months. We even went and checked the location out ourselves. There literally _was _nothing. And another thing…he is in a whole different state than where his mission had been based. How did he get there? You guys don't think he…"

"no." Natasha said harshly, glaring daggers at Steve.

She knew exactly what he was going to say. He was wondering if Clint had decided to quit everything, and run away to start a new life without leaving a trace.

Bruce spoke up cautiously, "Natasha, he was my friend too. But, we do have to consider it a possibility. I mean, SHIELD has been known to help agents cover their tracks if they wanted to start over, or even fake a death."

Now Tony stepped in, "No, Clint wouldn't do that. He kept to himself about a lot yes, but he didn't hide who he really is, or what's left of him after whatever happened in his past. I don't know what it is, but there is no information in his file about his past whatsoever. There was even more of Romanoff's past than there was of Barton's."

Natasha couldn't decide whether to glare at Stark for breaking into their files, or be happy that he had stood up for her partner.

"Yea but…" Steve was about to begin before Pepper suddenly spoke up in a wary voice.

"You guys. Stop. Right now, you need to decide your next move is. Then, we will make that move, _right _after everyone takes a good long nap, showers, gets in uniform, and is all packed." Pepper said sternly with a look at them to see if they dare challenge her demand. Nobody did.

"From the way you're talking, it sounds like you already know what we should do." Tony said tilting his head slightly in question. Pepper never stopped surprising him.

The strawberry-blonde rolled her eyes at him, "well it's obvious. Me and Bruce will stay here and be the contact to SHIELD. We let Fury know what's going on, especially Phil too. He's been down in the dumps ever since this whole thing. Then, you three go to Paynesville, track him down and talk to him. After discussing possibilities with SHIELD, and talking to Clint, we can understand _what _exactly happened, what's going on, then make our next move."

The whole team stared at her blankly. It almost seemed like crickets should be chirping.

Steve, who's eyebrows were at the top of his head, said "wow. Why didn't we make _her _captain?"

And with that, they dispersed, doing exactly as pepper ordered them too.

Natasha lay down after a quick shower, even though she knew she would _never _be able to sleep after everything.

Her only thought, was bringing a Hawk home.


	5. Chapter 5

__**so i**_** could've made this longer and continued on, but i really should try and get some sleep so i'm not**_**Dying**_** on black friday and thanksgiving. I decided that next chapter will be still from clint's point of view instead of switching back over to the team, cause a few things need to happen before the team shows up xD hope ya like**_

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**_Previously: But not without a nightmare of course~_**

Clint's nightmare started with flashes of memories that he didn't understand…

_Two men stood next to each other in what seemed like a basic open field, except red and white striped tents with yellow flags raised on top waved in the wind off in the distance behind them. _

_One man was tall with a scruffy unshaven face. He had mid-length blonde hair, and stern brown eyes. He was wearing a costume that looked almost medieval, with a complete armor set, along with two swords that were cross sheathed to his back._

_The man that stood next to him was slightly less broad, but no less stern looking. He had a mop of brown hair with light brown eyes that had a pleased look in them. In one of his hands, he held a bow, in the other, a quiver full of black feathered arrows._

_The scene that was playing out showed a blonde boy who couldn't be more than fourteen, with blue eyes. The same as before, only older. He wore a black cotton shirt, and black jeans with tie up boots. He was in stance, a bow drawn taut with an arrow in notch._

"_Just watch here Swordsman, I promise you he'll be the be the next hit. Everyone will love him!" the shorter man said excitedly._

_The taller man, who goes by the 'Swordsman' scratched his chin, "we'll see, Trickshot. I do not doubt your skills as a teacher, but you do realize you are telling me that this teenager that we picked up in Iowa, is going to be my ticket to the next level?"_

_Trickshot held out one hand, "Okay Barton. Whenever your ready." _

_The blonde teen took a deep breath. Arm guards strapped around his wrists, elbow back, hand to chin._

_He let go._

_The arrow flew threw the air momentarily, before hitting a target 50 meters away right in the center of the bulls eye. _

_Everyone stared at the mark in silence until finally the burly man spoke, "anyone can shoot an arrow straight from it's target Trickshot. If _that _is my ticket to the big league circus's, I could've gotten that act years ago." he said with a snuff._

_Trickshot arched an eyebrow at the Swordsman. "That," he said pointing to the teen, "is just the beginning. Alright kid, show us what ya got."_

_The teen gave his coach a nod, and took a few steps back. Then suddenly took off running a few steps towards the target before flipping into the air with a twist. A silent twang was heard before he hit the ground with his feet._

_Now the target had a split arrow that was peeled in half from the force of a second arrow. _

_The swordsman raised his eyebrows._

"_Now __**that**__,__that is **still **only the tip of the iceberg." Trickshot said proudly._

_The tall blonde gave a small nod._

"_Okay, boy, show me what else ya got." _

_The teen nodded and continued doing tricks._

The scene of the dream switched over in a jumble of memories and words.

_Now it showed a shot of a man with a kind but almost unreadable face. He looked slightly aged, but wise and most likely underestimated. "My names Coulsen. I'm willing to give you a second chance…come work for SHIELD. You can start all over."_

_He had cornered a kid in an alley street with a gun pointed at him. It was the same blonde boy, but the boy had aged three years._

The dreams continued to scramble, and voices filled Hawkeye's head in his restless sleep…

"_Let's get this job done…"_

"_Love is for children…"_

"_I was sent to kill you, I'm making a different call…"_

"_Shut up Tony!"_

"_Phil! Look out!"_

"_Barney… __**please**__…"_

Suddenly Hawkeye woke, sitting up straight with such a force, he fell out of his branch, but nimbly twisted to land on his feet, the momentum causing him to stumble into a roll.

With a huff, he let himself lay in the middle of the field a few feet out from his tree in the park, lying on his back. His head pounding and stirring as the words of his dream filled his mind.

"Oh gosh… what the heck just happened?" he grumbled to himself.

His gaze was settled on the foggy night air that hung in the clouds. He guessed it to be around two o' clock in the middle of the night, as he could still vaguely see the stars through the fuzziness of the clouds.

All was quiet as Hawkeye remained on his back, letting the silence fill his ears, trying to push the worry, anger, and frustration he was feeling deep inside him.

He finally got his heart rate to drop from it's rapid beat, and his muscles to relax, when a sudden scream ripped through the air.


	6. Chapter 6

_**~so this will probably seem all really random and confusing but I promise, in the end, it'll most likely make sense.**_

_**Sorry if this was badly written, I was kind of in a rush, but really wanted to get it in ink while it was in my mind.**_

_When a sudden scream ripped through the air._

Hawkeye immediately jumped to his feet, his ears were searching for the direction the sound came from. It had been a woman's scream, short and shrill. He headed off in the direction of the street, where housed, shops, and apartments were lined.

The sounds of struggling reached his ears once more, and he started running to the alley that it had been coming from, careful not to trip over anything in the dark, with only faint streetlights to help him.

When he reached the dark alley, his eyes darkened at the scene.

A woman was pressed against the wall of the brick building, trying to get as far away from her pursuers that surrounded her as possible. Five men, all in black were closing in on her from all sides, like a pack of coyote to prey.

One thug said in a voice almost like a purr, "Come on lady. All we want is that pretty little necklace around your neck, your purse, and a little love. Huh sugar?" he said coming closer to her.

The woman had tears streaming down her face, as she tried to inch away from the approaching thug.

Just then, Hawkeye sprung into action. He jumped in front of the woman without notice, and punched the man in the face. The woman let out a yelp in horror, and slid to the ground, burying her head in her hands, with her knees folded to her chest.

The thug that got punched was out cold, which surprised Hawkeye. Did it usually go that quick?

"Well look who we have here. If it isn't a bystander trying to play _hero._" another one of the men said through gritted teeth.

"You know, your mothers' should've raised you to be better gentlemen." Hawkeye said as the four remaining men started to encircle him. He got into stance with his fists up on guard, and a cock to one of his eyebrows. "And from the way you punch, I can tell she probably was the one who taught you _that _too."

One of the men snarled angry at the sudden intruder and flung himself at him with a right hook to the jaw line, only to have Hawkeye flip over him, grab him from behind before throwing the thug into the wall.

The other three thugs were yelling curse words at him, and the bigger of the trio pulled a gun out from his jacket, and the smaller flipped out a knife.

"Oh so we're playing dirty?" Hawkeye said, just before a bang rang out. He moved like a viper, dodging the bullet that had been aimed at his chest, kicking the legs out from the three, flipping himself off the wall, before going in a moment of pure rampage and adrenaline.

In a few moments, all five thugs were bleeding out of their noses, and littered in the narrow alley.

_What just happened? Did I just __**dodge **__a bullet? How did I…_

Hawkeye's thoughts were interrupted by the squeak of the woman behind him. He whirled around to see her now on her feet with her hand clasped over her mouth, as if trying to hold back a scream.

"Hey, it's okay now. Your safe." he said smoothly, holding his hands out so her palms faced her, showing he wasn't going to hurt her.

She nodded silently, picked up the purse that was now caked with mud, and walked out of the alley. "T…Thank you."

He gave her a nod, "go to the police station. Tell them what happened, where, and when, but don't tell that about me. I don't want my face plastered all over the news, got it?" he said. When she nodded a yes, he gave her a polite nod of his own, and was about to walk off when she quickly grabbed his arm, taking all his self control not to react to instinct and club her. He turned to see her still-watery eyes, pleading silently, "what's your name?"

A small frown creeped on his face. Truth was, he still wasn't sure about his _real _name. Many names had been mentioned in his dream, and he guessed which one he was but still nothing clicked, except the archery that had been in the dream. He'd recognized that as a memory.

He shook his head at the woman. "It's not necessary, stay safe." was all he said, and then took off before the woman could protest.

He set off to find a bow and arrow. That's one of the only three things he could remember, and his dream had reattached apart of him. He now knew, that was what he needed. The empty feeling he had felt on his back should have a quiver. Now all he needed to do was find it.

Immediately, Hawkeye took off to the direction of the alley he had woken up in. It wasn't far, and he soon came to the place where his memories ran short. The alley was the same as any other; damp, muddy, narrow, and an eerie atmosphere to it.

He found a spot that had dried blood on the side of the brick wall, and knew that was the spot he had woken up to a few days previous.

Back-tracking, he thought of the directions that he could have come before ending up here. He looked around frantically, searching for any clues, before looking up, and seeing a shattered window a few yards above the dried blood.

_Great, I probably got shoved out of a window from the looks of it,_ Hawkeye thought angrily.

He sized up the distance from where he stood, to where the window was above, and backed up.

With a huff, he ran a few paces before jumping up and getting halfway through the window. Using his strengthened arms, he hoisted himself up the rest of the way on his feet, and scanned the room.

The room was rather small, and the walls were all white. There was desks everywhere with papers scattered all around. Everything looked slightly demolished and he assumed, that he, or someone after him, must have caused this.

Suddenly, a pain increased in his temples. The pulsing in his head echoing the pulse of his heart, as a memory painfully creeped it's way back into his mind…

_Hawkeye was looking at his hands like they were foreign. His face showed only confusion, and wonder._

"_What'd they do to me?" he said just before the sound of a door opening was heard, and he spun around, grabbing his bow that lay on a table, and smoothly notching an arrow into aim._

_A tall almost bald man stood in the doorway with a clip-board, and a white lab coat on. Wire rimmed glasses were perched on the bridge of his nose, and he wore a malice smile. "Look who woke up. I assume you don't remember all the tests we did, hm?" _

_Hawkeye remained unmoved, his arrow still aimed at the man's head, "who are you? And where am I? what'd you do to me?" he said, the questions pouring out of his mouth._

_The man in the lab coat snickered, "So many questions my guinea pig, which one would you like me to answer first?"_

_Hawkeye pulled a little further on his bow, and narrowed his eyes at the mysterious scientist, "all of them."_

_The scientist raise his eye-brows without dropping his smile. "Well, I am Dr. Gerris, you are in the research lab of the H.U.S.A.P. Also known at the H.U.S science association project. And when one of my guards caught you sneaking around, we decided that we could use you as a little lab rat. So we ran some tests, and we are happy to say you turned out __**very**__ successful. Don't you think?" _

_The archer's mind was spinning, thoughts and questions swirled, before turning his attention back to Dr. Gerris._

"_What __**exactly **__did you do? I feel… different." he said, never wavering his stance._

"_Stronger perhaps? Faster? Sharper senses? Yes well, that is the success of the program. We never would have let someone who is against us have that kind of power, but I'm afraid it was mere accident that you survived. You see, we have been running tests for almost a year now, and you are the only surviving test we have." Dr. Gerris said with a shrug._

_A horrible thought occurred in Hawkeye's mind. "Wait, you've been running these tests on humans? And no one's survived till now?" anger started swelling, and before he could let go of the arrow, an explosion sounded nearby, knocking everyone to there feet. _

_Hawkeye quickly jumped back up, when a sudden prick came to his neck, and he pulled a dart away from the sting. Cursing under his breath, he searched frantically for his bow that had been flung out of his hand from the explosion, before whatever drug set in, but it was too late. He felt his body start to go limp, and his legs faltered._

_He saw hovering over him, as another explosion, closer than the previous one, caused his vision to shake._

_As his body was lifted onto something, he heard the scientist whisper in his ear. "it seems your friends are trying to rescue you after they hadn't heard from you in awhile, even though you won't remember a thing when you wake up. Let's remove locations, shall we? , And we'll even take your precious bow, so no trace is left behind."_

_Just as blackness took him, he heard someone shout, "MOVE OUT! ALL TRACES CLEAR!" and he fell under._

When his mind finally stopped surging he stood up from the pain the flashback had caused.

His mind echoes all the information he had just heard.

_Okay, first things first, what do you all know now? _he told himself, as his mind started to ease from the pain.

_1. You need to find your bow and arrow._

He straightened up and started tearing the room apart. It wasn't the same room from his memory, but similar. When he suddenly spotted a pile of charts and x-ray photos laying floppily on something.

Hawkeye quickly shoved them away to see his precious bow and quiver full of arrows resting undamaged, and untouched.

The feel of the familiar object made him sigh with relief. He smoothly slung his quiver to hang behind him, and held his bow firmly in one hand, checking the mechanics to make sure the rotating quiver still worked. Then focused back on his state of thinking…

_2. You know of someone called Coulsen, and some_thing_ called Shield._

Whatever the heck _that_ meant. He still had no clue.

_3. Some crazy scientists did lab work on him._

That might explain how he can now dodge bullets and knock someone out cold with one punch. But why was he with the scientist in the first place?

_4. Before getting knocked out by some drug, Dr. Gerris had mentioned that someone was coming for me. Who could it be?_

Maybe it was Coulsen? Hawkeye had no idea, but his motto for the present was 'don't trust anyone'.

So whoever knew him before his memory loss was gone, is never going to be able to make him believe them.

_5. The scientist had told me he was moving locations, meaning this isn't where the memory had happened. So where?_

His mind was racking for any scrap of memory, but his whole mind was scattered. He knew bits and pieces here and there, but nothing had attached at all yet, making him weary.

Giving up on trying for a number six, he hopped back out the window, and started trekking back towards the park. He figured that he might want to get a few more hours of sleep before setting off on his journey tomorrow.

Apart of him told him that he should go look for anyone he knows, but he was against it. For all _he _knew, someone could trick him, tell him that they know who he was. Hawkeye refused to let anyone else play with his mind ever again, and he had a feeling this wasn't the first time he'd said that.

Tomorrow, he would set out to find Dr. Gerris. If he found the scientist who took his memory, he _just _might find his memory too.

And he would _not _show _any _mercy on the scientist.

Nope.

The Hawk, was out for blood.


	7. Chapter 7

**~ okay so this is from the team's Pov now, and one part of this you might not get at first, but next chapter will be about clint's pov, and it might make more sense. I dunno, i'm just trying to picture how it would be to read this without knowing what's going to happen next. Sorry xP  
**

**I don't own the avengers, even though at the moment i'm on a little bit of an obsession. Oh well, it's better than like doing other crap, right? so here it is...  
**

* * *

**The Team:**

The quinjet was hovering in the air, and with a thud, the machine landed, and the engine slowly died.

Everyone let out a breath. They had had to hire a pilot from SHIELD to fly them here, because the archer who usually piloted was gone at the moment, and not all of them completely trusted their lives in the hands of a young naïve agent.

Filing out, they formed a small circle, almost like football players making a game plan. Bruce had originally been going to stay back with Pepper, but the team decided that they might need his medical skills, so he'd been dragged along also.

"Okay team. Here's the plan. We find Barton, get him to talk, and find out what the heck is going on." Steve said with determination.

The team was fully suited, including Tony, whose Iron mask was flipped up, revealing only his face. He let out a long breath, "I haven't seen Legolas in _months._ I am _so _ready to have him back. Bruce and Steve are too easy to beat in a battle of wits war, and I can't get anyone to play x-box with me."

Bruce nodded, ignoring his comment about wit, "Yea, except I'm kind of nervous. Do you guys think anything serious happened?"

They all glanced at each other momentarily, lost in their own thoughts.

"We won't know till we find him." Steve said.

Natasha finally spoke up from her silence, "How do we know where to look?"

Steve contemplated the question, "well, this is a fairly small town, and knowing Barton he would be somewhere with less people and more wilderness or high places to perch."

"How about we split up?" Bruce offered tentatively.

"Good idea Bruce." Steve said giving a small nod to the doctor, "Stark and Banner will go one way, and Natasha and I will go the other. You get any news or sightings of Barton, and let the other team know immediately. You all got your com linked up right?"

A series of nods were his response.

"Excellent. Meet back here in an hour."

And with that, they separated.

**Natasha and Steve: **

Steve and Natasha were pillaging around the town, looking at tops of buildings, alley ways and even down some man holes. Not one sign did they find of their archer.

After twenty minutes of nothing, Natasha let out a deep sigh, and rubbed her eyes with her hands. "Sorry to break it to you cap, but Clint is one of the best hide-and-seek players I know. When he wants to disappear, he disappears." She had tried to add humor to the comment, but it only came out hollow.

Steve looked over at her, aware of her dread, "Agent Romanoff." He said softly.

When she met his eyes he gave her a small smile, "we're going to find him. Okay? I promise."

Natasha gave the good captain a small nod and a thankful smile.

Steve continued to walk on.

"I hope so." She whispered quietly to herself, before catching up with Rogers's long strides.

Just then, their coms crackled to life. Tony's voice could be heard over the ear piece, "Ugh, guys? We have a bit of a problem."

The two heroes stopped dead in their tracks as an explosion could be heard over the other side.

**Tony and Bruce:**

The two scientists had started walking around the small town, bickering as they went; Tony rambling about things that didn't matter, and Bruce putting in his two cents every once in a while.

They came to a halt at an open park with a large green open field, and a big oak tree near the back. A bench was at the edge of the field near the side walk.

"You don't suppose he would come out if we made bird calls or something do you?" Tony quipped in his metallic voice that the suit gave him.

Bruce rolled his eyes at the billionaire, "No Stark, I doubt it. Can we just focus on the task anyway?"

Just then, they heard a sound that sounded like struggling and noticed in the field an unsuspected scene, but it was just who they were looking for.

There in the middle of the field was a group of five men in black suits surrounding their friend, but no sooner did they see the scene, as Hawkeye took them out with ease in a flurry of punches, kicks and spins, not even breaking a sweat. The field was now scattered with men in black, which stood out against the pigment of the green grass.

They watched as their friend walked up to one of the men and tapped him in the ribs with his combat boot. When the man made a groan, Hawkeye swung his fist faster than they could blink to knock the man out cold.

Tony smiled happily, "Bruce! He's right there! Alive!" he couldn't help himself. Three days ago, he'd still thought his friend had died a horrible death, locked away in a dungeon all alone, slowly and painfully.

Now he saw him alive and well fully capable of taking care of himself, and the sight made him want to jump up and down squealing like a little girl.

Bruce was smiling also, but a worried look was in his eyes. "I know Tony, I'm happy too… but." He paused as he watched their friend walk around the scattered men to make sure everyone was either dead or unconscious.

Tony frowned at the doctor's hesitation, "but what?"

Banner scratched his scalp, "Something's off about him. Did you see how fast he was moving? And the look on his face, he looks…lost."

Tony shrugged. "He's an assassin, of course he's fast. And he might be lost too. Who knows! All I know, is I wanna bring my buddy home."

They turned to walk across the street, to the field and all the way to their friend, but when they reached the very edge of the field on the opposite end as Barton stood, Tony's heavy metal boot stepped on a twig and with a small _snap, _it broke.

Tony looked down at the twig he'd broke, and when he looked up at Barton, he saw his friend turn at the sound of the break, and notch an arrow at them. He frowned when he saw that Hawkeye wasn't putting the weapon down as they got closer.

"Hey Barton! Miss me?" Tony teased when Bruce and he were fifteen feet away.

The archer lowered his bow to reveal his emotionless face. Tony was expecting a dry reply, a laugh, or even a comment about why there was men scattered around him, but instead, he just gave a look.

"Who are you?" Clint said harshly, anger etching at his words.

Bruce and Tony froze in their tracks.

The man still had his string pulled back with an arrow notched, though it was aimed in a stance at the ground.

"Clint… it's us." Tony said confused. Was he joking? Was this all a big fat prank?

Clint narrowed his eyes at them, "do I know you?" he said eying them suspiciously.

Bruce's face was scrunched up in worry, "Clint… you don't recognize us?"

The man frowned slightly, "No, should I? Or are you just another one of Dr. Gerris's mind games?" he said with hate.

"Uh oh." Tony squeaked.

There were no better words to describe the situation.

Suddenly, anger seemed to flare up in him and he raised his bow, aiming it at Bruce's head "what do you want?"

The two scientists' were shocked at this. They had no idea how to handle this situation.

"We want you to come home Clint." Was all Bruce managed to say with an arrow aimed at his forehead. Sure, the 'other guy' would protect him, but he would still feel it just before the transformation, that and he didn't want to hulk out and destroy the small little town.

Hawkeye narrowed his eyes at Bruce, "My name is Clint?"

At this, Tony and Bruce simply stared. This was bad. This was _so _bad. Heck, this was _way _worse than bad.

"Yes, Clint. Don't you remember? Us? a team? The Avengers?" Bruce said still cautious.

No reaction.

Bruce tried once more, sure that his friend would remember her, "do you remember Natasha?"

Their friend seemed think about it for a split second before turning back to anger, "Yea right. No more mind games. I got a scientist to hunt."

Before Bruce or Tony could make a move, the archer's fast reflexes pressed the button to rotate his quiver to an explosive nozzle, aimed at the building that loomed near them at the same side of the street, and released the arrow, all in one fluid motion.

The arrow flew in milliseconds before causing the roof of the building to explode. Debris fell fast with the help of gravity and a huge chunk was hurdling straight towards the two scientists.

"Uh, guys? We have a bit of a problem…" was all Stark was able to say before the piece of debris crushed him and Bruce to the ground, pinning Bruce's legs, and everything but Tony's head and shoulders.

* * *

**Well that's all i got for now. Next chapter will be from clint's POV, starting off when the men in black first attack him in the field **

**hint: those are the men that have been following him remember? He had seen one in the tree a few chapters back. anyways, hoped ya like.  
**


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